PreWrath Spouse Support Group

I posted this satirical piece on PreWrath Only and received some good feedback.  Here is it for you all as well.
 
PreWrath Spouse Support Group

Is your spouse spending too much time reading prophecy books? Do you try to get their attention only to be told, "I’m busy debunking Tim LaHaye right now." If you have unsuccessfully tried to wrestle your husband or wife away from the computer as they are debating something they feel is a matter of life and death, there is help available.

The PreWrath Spouse Support Group has been meeting for a little over six months. Testimonies are pouring in from husbands and wives who have received the sympathy, guidance, and ongoing support that they need to help their spouse overcome an unhealthy addiction. Through patience, love, and Biblical perseverance, each PreWrath addict has been able to bring their compulsions under control. Hear some personal testimonies:

~~~~~~~~~~

All my husband would talk about with me for three months was the heads, horns, and crowns in the book of Revelation. It got to the point where he only put ten candles on my birthday cake because he couldn’t remember how old I was. At first I was flattered, but then when I asked him about it, he said that knowing how many horns were on the beast of Revelation was more important than knowing which birthday of mine we were celebrating. That’s when I knew we needed help. After some initial counseling, I felt like I was ready to confront him. At first I didn’t think we were making any headway, but then one night he broke down and admitted that I was more important to him than studying prophecy. He vowed to take me out on a date once per month and if he ever forgot, he is not allowed to post on PreWrathOnly until the next month. He hasn’t forgotten yet. Thanks PSSG!

~~~~~~~~~~

When my wife started throwing around these prophecy phrases, I pretended to know what she was talking about. But then one night she mentioned something about Daniel’s seventieth week, and I responded, "Why does everything have to be about the Great Tribulation?" Immediately I knew I had said the wrong thing. Her face turned red and she started screaming, "The Great Tribulation does not last the entire seven years! How many times do I have to tell you?" She later apologized, but I knew the distance between us was growing as time progressed. I needed something or someone to help me converse with her. That’s when I got involved with PSSG. They have helped me understand her terminology so I know what she is talking about. Just the other day she mentioned "the abomination of desolation". I quickly called my sponsor who informed me when this event happens, who it involves, and what it practically means for me. I was able to put a smile on my face and say, "Honey, I’m so glad that you are keeping your eyes open for the man of sin to sit in the temple and show the world that he claims to be God, because that will be the start of the Great Tribulation." As soon as I saw the look on her face, I knew I had done well. She hugged me and told me how good it was to have conversation about something so important to her. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without PSSG.

~~~~~~~~~~

At first when our teenage daughter began studying prophecy, we were very happy. We knew that if she studied on her own that she would understand the basics of the PreWrath Rapture. It started out that way, but then she started acting strange any time certain phrases were used. She got into trouble for being out past her curfew. Instead of punishing her, we mentioned that, "You don’t want to incur our wrath over this." She shot back, "That’s so lame. You don’t even understand the difference between wrath and tribulation. I’m exempt from the wrath. The wrath doesn’t come until the Day of the LORD." Although the support group is for spouses, we have been able to connect with others and help our daughter to see that she has carried some things a little too far. PSSG is helping us teach our daughter that the study of prophecy is important, but we can’t go around acting like we are better than others just because we know more about prophecy than someone else.

~~~~~~~~~~

PreWrath spouses, you need to know that PreWrath is not just a phase of life. Your spouse will never be the same once they understand the PreWrath Rapture view. You need the tools to be able to accompany your spouse on their journey of eschatology. Call us now and receive unlimited resources helping you to adapt to new terminology, free marriage supper of the Lamb counseling, and ongoing support from people just like you. If your spouse is addicted to prophecy, we have the tools to be able to help them incorporate the study of prophecy into their lives without being consumed by it. Call us now at 1-800-PRE-RATH.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Eschatology. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s